There is nothing here I can tell you about La Venencia that would do it justice. La Venencia needs to be visited to truly appreciate its unique nature. It is truly one of a kind and an experience in itself. It is a no nonsense institution that celebrates sherry in Madrid.

La Venencia, calle de Echegaray, 7, 28014

This picture is the only picture that you can take of La Venencia at La Venencia. The bar staff is pretty adamant about not allowing any pictures to be taken inside and on more than one occasion I have witnessed sourly waiters shouting at their patrons to put their phones down. Yep, this is that kind of a place.

The service at La Venencia is so rude and offhanded that I would not call it a “service” at all. I want to say you do not come to La Venencia for service but who am I kidding of course you do! Everyone needs to experience it in order to know what a rightly truly nonchalant Spanish service looks like.

The menu is simple: there are six sherries to choose from and that is is. You can pick from a glass of manzanilla, manzanilla pasada, fino, oloroso, amontillado and palo cortado for which you will pay anything between €1.90 to €2.50.

If you want some snacks, well you are very much in luck because you will no longer get snacks like this anywhere else! There is a small selection of cured meats and cheeses that you can get in a tapa, ½ ration or ration sizes (basically, a bite, enough for two, enough to feed an army) and these snacks come for a ridiculously low price for their respective size. But why do I say you will no longer get snacks served like this? Well…

Well, first of all, everything that you want to order, you order at the bar (table service? what’s table service?). The bartender will pour you your drinks, give you the glasses, a small snack and will write the sum on the bar in chalk. If you ordered a platter of cheese or cold cuts, he will shout to his colleague who will grab a nub of sausage or a piece of ham hanging by the cord off of the wall and will hack enough uneven and wonky pieces to fill a plate that he will unceremoniously thrust into your arms with a mumble and a glare.

If you want to be treated like a saint for graciously deigning to patronise their establishment forget about it. Unless you are a regular, you will be treated as nothing more than an inconvenience at best and a complete and utter burden at worst. This is why I love La Venencia. It is beautiful just the way it is and I hope it never changes.

Need I say, La Venencia receives my full seal of approval. It is a must visit for sherry novices and sherry lovers alike. Come to enjoy this atmospheric gem that serves horrible service first, drinks later.