I guess it’s no news to anyone that we moved to Switzerland. 2022 was a wild year that took us from Singapore to Spain to Tanzania to Lithuania… and now we are here. Welcome to this particular wild ride: I promise to be your mentally unhinged guide. We start with Italian!

Giusi’s Ristorante Pizzeria, Zollikerstrasse 10, 8008 Zürich

OK, right of the bat I have to be honest with you, I was one hundred percent sure I will be disappointed by food in Switzerland. I expected nothing more (or less, depends on how you look at it) but a black hole of bland despair. Spoiler alert: I was sorely mistaken; it’s even worse than I imagined! Like, what?!! I kid you not when I say that y’all are in for a very wild ride and I am going to be your exceptionally salty conductor, so strap in.

In hindsight this dinner ended up being not so bad after all. Initially, I tried telling Matas that I do not plan on eating out too much in Zürich because a) iz ekspensiv and b) bad food=big disappointment but a man can only cook so much at home (if anyone cares, my left wrist was in a cast for the first four weeks of this year), so we ended up going out a few times.

We are currently staying at a temporary rental in Zürich until we find a permanent place in Zug. Our area is quite nice and there are plenty of eateries to pick from nearby. Matas decided on this Italian restaurant that had a 4.5 star rating on Google Maps so off we went on a quiet Tuesday night. The night was indeed very quiet because we were the only people in the restaurant the entire time. As I understand, many people in Switzerland prefer to eat at home and leave restaurants for special occasions… at these prices (and quality), who can blame them, really?

Anyway, the food was OK. It was of average taste and average quality. The pizza was too cheesy and the crust was soggy. The pasta was nicely al dente but nothing in it screamed “I am the pinnacle of culinary endeavor”. The two guys running the place talked in Italian, so that’s a big plus for sure. Other than that, eh. *shoulder shrug*

The biggest travesty in this country is its standard wine pour: a measly 100 ml if you can believe that. One. Hundred. Millilitres. HOW CAN DIS B ALLOW I would like to ask??? Besides that, the wine was OK, nothing awful, nothing spectacular.

Should I even bring out the concept of Ieva’s seal of approval for this one? I don’t think so – take it or leave, I could not care less at this point (and it all goes downhill from there).

Here are two little lake pictures for all your reading troubles. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

PS: This little bit was not up to snuff? Please be patient while I get my writing groove on because I am indeed very rusty (it’s all that salt in this country, makes my hinges creak up a storm). But I have some pretty cool things in store for y’all, so stay tuned!